Love

Love is dark, and love is deep
It's hard to find, and it sure ain't cheap.

Love is true, and love is raw
It's hard to see, but I'm sure that I saw

when it walked across your face.

Your love is full of fables,
petal-less daisies and names carved in high school classroom tables

Your love is a promise I must make, a claim I mean to stake,
one gaze I cannot shake

Your love.

Love is warm, and love is sweet
It's hard to prove, doesn't come with a receipt

Love is pure, and love is clear
It's hard to keep, but I'm sure I was sincere

when it danced across my mouth.

Your love is full of rainfall,
shameless statements and names carved in public bathroom stalls.

Your love is a promise I must make, a claim I mean to stake,
one gaze I cannot shake

Your love.

I'm alright.

I need a healthy dose of something...
I don't know what.
As long as it's healthy.

My room looks like a battle just died out.
Now I have to bury the remains
under my bed, in closets and drawers.

My cat is sulking around the house:
I haven't snuggled her enough.
It's been a few months of casual walk-by pettings.

I forget how to write songs.
All that leaks out are cheap little poems
and rodeo-active pop.

I've taken to eavesdropping,
I don't like to start conversations anymore.
I just join in on existent thoughts.


I'm alright. I'm alright.

Goodnight,
you rock my world.

poloroid love

Imagine a sepia photograph.
There's a hot cup of tea in my hand.
Earl grey and lavender.
I am finger-painting t-shirts in my bedroom.
Heavenly music is surrounding my head.
I just got a fresh dose of love.
An extremely peaceful sunset is occuring
outside of my window.
I bought a poloroid for 50 cents.
THIS IS MY DWELLING.
I AM BLESSED.
Thank you God.

An ask

Love me though I am distant
Teach me though I do not listen
Help me though I rebel against you
Hold me though I pull away
Guide me though I change direction
Win me though I've lost much
Bless me though I curse myself

desires

Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.
And when it desires?
Is that then the right moment?

There's a peace with you
a casual frankness
a warmth in hardship
a love stronger than fear

Love is awake
and full of desire.

Sunburnt

Just a little pink around the edges
a little raw
a little tender
a little sore
working towards a change
the beginning of new skin
Apply this to my spirit
Times twelve
and you can see the state I'm in
a little cautious
a little awkward
a little scared
morphing into someone else
the beginning of 'growing up'
Or maybe this is the middle
or the end
Or maybe this is nothing

ISAAC

The day tricked itself and slowly turned into the night
Much the same I tricked myself by claiming this was right
Climbed up the mountain holding your hand tight

Isaac,
this is just a test to pass or fail
Isaac,
either way, my love for you is real
Isaac,
I ask you to lay down on the cold stones
...
I'd much rather take you home

A lamb to the slaughter, so full of trust you go
Much the same I hear a voice and willingly follow
I cannot explain to you, I've told you all I know

Isaac,
this is just a test to pass or fail
Isaac,
either way my love for you is real
Isaac,
I ask you to lay down on these cold stones
...
Now I'm going to take you home.

There's a space meant for you inside this box of treasures.
Beside my buttons and glue, on top of all my feathers
an envelope sits, waiting to be ripped
but the time isn't ripe, and you'll have to wait to read it.
We're waiting to be named
to be polished and adored
to be ready
to be chosen
to be asked onto the floor
I can still hear your heart
I can still feel your skin
I can still disagree
But I can still give in

The bottom-line has changed too many times
to define this
Now every time that you smile
I re-assess my blissful blindness

There's no choice left in matters of the soul
I empty, I listen
I give-over my control
to the outside looking in.

(Here's to screw-ups! Here's to failures! Here's to unpredictable passion and...us?)

yes.

Word of the 'week':

'The one thing'.

Peace of Pieces

You give me a peace of pieces
The sort of sunshine that warms
but when I leave the gold dust
I'm cold and I must
find a method of capture

I plan to captivate you

You give me a peace of pieces
the sort of explosive smile
that will last for a while
but when it's gone
it's gone
it's gone

I plan to captivate you

I must find a paint that will make you stay
How can I preach water to a world aflame?
I know that you are with me
maybe we are
maybe we are the truth

I plan to captivate you

you squeeze me like growing pains
exciting and tense
you're glorious like frustration
hungry and dry
you hurt me like questions
long and confused
you're holding me like thick-air
real and heavy

'Are you my soul?'

*

Ravenous
for peace
I clean the mirror
Beautiful
my sister
inside the well
Thirsty
I reach
to the surface
Frightened
my fingers
fragile and pale
Shimmering
I glean
worshiping warmth
Created
by light
and to light I return

Word of the 'week':

Ridiculous:
zany, awful, shocking, amazing, spellbinding, ridiculous, nonsensical.

ie: #1: "Look at that ridiculous pair of shoes!"
#2: "And then I watched this ridiculous sunset."
#3: "Murder is ridiculous"
#4: "This is a ridiculously delicious cake, Mom"
#6: "He's so handsome, it's almost ridiculous"
#5: "I can't believe it! How ridiculous!"
#7: "Absolutely ridiculous."

ps. I think this dress of Bjork's is ridiculous. In the best kind of way.

Eden

You and I went outside of the tent
We lay down by the fire, where we got wet
Running barefeet softly landing, fairy dancing in the rain
We went back inside, while you slept I cried awake

You were the highest of my highs
for three years and a short time
heal my heartbeat
with your big, soft hands
seal the truth in deep
with your big, soft hands

Castles in my suitcase and I left all the pills that I've been taking
Running barefoot from the world back into the mist where we were born
and your sweet little curls tangled with the leaves
they were falling from the trees where we slept

This is how we're meant to be
Part of the earthen scenery
This is how we're meant to be
in the Garden of Eden
This is how we're meant to be
you be Adam - I'll be Eve

Heal my heartbeat
with your big, soft hands
Seal the truth in deep
with your big, soft hands
with your big soft hands
with your big, soft hands.

word of the 'week' (or whatever it turns out to be)

Cardigan:
the cozy sweater-like friend, the Cardigan Welsch Corgi, the street. Anywhere it happens to be placed in a moment.


Previous words of the unspoken period of time:
Ergonomics
Cuddle
Rigamortis
"No regrets"
(*) Sparkles
"I love this f*ing cereal"

Moon River

Moon River has been stuck in my head for two days now....I wouldn't mind, except for the fact that I don't know all the words...so I'm mostly just humming the same melody on repeat.
I'm gonna look the words up.
Here we go:

"Moon river, wider than a mile
I'm crossing you in style some day
Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker
Wherever you're goin', I'm goin' your way

Two drifters, off to see the world
There's such a lot of world to see
We're after the same rainbow's end, waitin' 'round the bend
My huckleberry friend, moon river, and me"

I like it!

Tomorrow I'm heading to Hamilton, Ontario for the weekend to record some new songs with two great producers, and a fantastic musician named Julian Brown (Apostle of Hustle)! I'm quite excited, and also quite nervous...but I feel like this is the right timing, and I'm more than happy to plunge deeper into the universe of music.

So, since I don't believe in luck, wish me peace! Or wish me joy! Or anything good, really.

I'm going to spend this day preparing for the weekend by singing, praying, and sitting outside in a snow bank sun-basking.

Be well :)

Sunshine & Arrows

And this is what I've chosen:

I will let you live
I will not try to control
any circumstance, nor any role
I am not your keeper
and you are not mine

Life is full of sunshine
and life is full of arrows
I choose to bless the sunshine
though I've been targeted
You choose to die
though you've been praised

Delicately Breaking

You have turned tears into diamonds

and cuts into battle scars

How many broken places have you stitched with your love?

So many shiny traces of the fire you've poured

down my core

through my walls

seeping into cracks

building life from dirt

I am transformed like a butterfly

you've gently patted my wings dry

avoided ripping, but stripping clean

How many years have you spent re-painting me?

I've had people say I'm pure, but not like this

this is more

You gave yourself up to take me on

and far before I could claim I understood

You began to move

like an imprint the light left on my eyelids

I can shift you but not erase

The heat from your hand always remains, like you never took it off my heart

When I knew I wanted your help

I called

and I could remember calling before

and I could remember clasping hands and dancing

But the heat from those hands died

yet you're reviving all those colours that once were so bright

Like cloth they had begun to shed in the washing, and fade each time

Until my house was broken down

I didn't feel just how weak it was

And though the breaking was raw I felt alive

I can watch you gather the bricks and gently place them down

You're the master builder and the cement you spread is strong

It's been slow, but you build to last

and

and

and, well..

thanks

Thanks so very very much

For adopting me

and changing my name

to something that's got purpose

Life tastes much fresher when I don't write my own destiny

my forehead gets looser when I can hear my heart in my chest and not my brain

Yet somehow I forget that you have sponsored my journey

given me my canteen and drenched it 'till flowing

Somehow I let go of sweet promises you've spoken

to get lost and confused in my own monologue

But this is a duo

we move together, like a liquid you hold me and guide

through all the step and spins in The Dance Of The Bride

And now I have come to decide

to stretch all of this skin on hoping to shine

the promise you gave me

I am leather you've kneaded and dyed

shaping my hide and stitching with pride

together a pair of moccasins that you can show off

that are softening and eventually

they'll be so well formed to your feet

that they'll look just like your skin

Won't that be beautiful?

Mighty Respirator

You come from places hidden

Deep within these smoke-stained walls.

A voice that leaves us choices

Our yellowed fingers reach for mothballs.

Gasping whiskey-tinged air

Our brittle hair flies infest.

And we get dressed in this mornings newspaper


Oh Mighty Respirator

Please just enough sweet breaths

And then a puff from our stale cigarettes

Off & on, now & then

We'll make love in our mildewed beds

Off & on, in & out

Even if we knew paradise

I do believe we'd forget


You hear a distant calling

From beneath the squeaking floor

A friend who offers wisdom

Our troubled hearts reach out for more


Oh Mighty Respirator

Please just enough sweet breaths

And then a puff from our stale cigarettes

Off & on, now & then

We'll make love in our mildewed beds

Off & on, in & out

Even if we knew paradise

I do believe we'd forget